This morning it occurred to me that I’m really not looking forward to going to the office, for I’ll have to continue doing something that I spent two days on already, and it’s still not working. I can easily think of many other such things that I’d rather not do, and as it happens each of them comes with a “positive”, or attractive aspect (written in brackets):
These are generalized examples; my real list is longer and more specific, but I won’t bore you with the details since anyone can easily write down their own, personally relevant version.
The point of these contrasts is not so much that the “bad” part of the stick is to be borne because the “good” part is worth so much more. The point is not even to try and forget about the bad part by various means (distraction, expression, repression, suppression), even though that’s what I end up doing most of the time. The point is to try and see them as a single “yin-yang” unit: black in white, white in black.
These contrasts are inevitable, so why waste time fighting them, denying their existence? Relax into the reality, let go of the fear and dread by feeling it directly until your brain gets tired of it. I’m not saying, “stop fearing the inevitable”, as the fear itself is in fact part of the inevitable. The lake would not try to hide its waves when a stone is thrown into it; its waves radiate outwards until they stop. In fact they never really stop, so the lake does not reject them.
Somewhere in the Tao Te Ching it is said that the great power of water (wearing down mountains, etc.) is because it’s not loath to take the lowest, humblest part, where no one wants to be. Elsewhere there’s the image of the malformed tree surviving, while the straight, useful ones are cut down for the carpenter. I wonder if peace can be had in the face of the above mentioned “dreadful” future situations by sinking, in each of them, to the most dreadful point. Assume the most broken, useless mental state: be angry and sad, afraid and trembling, and watch things come and go. Strength in weakness?
On a practical note: each day, do the “dreadful” thing first to avoid wasting too much time and effort doing pointless other things. Looking back, avoidance behaviors are often much more exhausting than what they supposedly protect me from. Or, in someone’s wise words: “Procrastination is not worth the time it takes.”